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Image 7 of The Advocate Messenger April 20, 2012

Part of The Advocate Messenger

FRIDAY, APRIL 20, 2012 A7 THE ADVOCATE-MESSENGER WWW.AMNEWS.COM ADVICE Mom struggling to cope with accident that injured children DEAR ABBY: My two children were in a terrible car accident and were both airlifted to a children’s hospital. My son was released two weeks later, but my daughter is still there, suffering from traumatic brain injury. Abby, I was driving the car. Why can’t my daughter have the life I took away from her? Why is she being punished and not me? — Anguished mother DEAR ANGUISHED: You’re asking a question that philosophers have pondered for centuries — why bad things happen to good people. In many cases the answer is simply “fate.” While you feel your daughter is being punished instead of you, I say the guilt you’re carrying IS punishment and it is not healthy for you or your child. Please don’t waste time flogging yourself, because your daughter needs you. Counseling may help you to come to terms with what happened. I hope you’ll consider it, as you will need every ounce of strength you can muster to help her in the months ahead. DEAR ABBY: I’m 16 and well below the average height for females. It bothers me a lot. I’m treated like a 5-year-old. I get picked up all the time, and it’s awkward talking to people because they look straight down at me — and they never let me forget it. I try to act cool about it, but honestly, I’m losing sleep over it. I’m really selfconscious, and when I get upset people just laugh at boyfriend agrees with me. We’re just not sure how to deal with his mom and her Jeanne Phillips point of view. What should we do? — Looking to the fuSyndicated Columnist ture in New York DEAR LOOKING TO me and say I’m “cute.” What THE FUTURE: What you should I do? — Looked should do depends upon to down upon in New Jersey what degree you want to DEAR LOOKED DOWN DEAR ABBY: My placate his mother. Having UPON: No one has the right boyfriend and I are in a seri- the casual ceremony you to pick you up or touch you ous relationship. Not long want in the setting of your in a familiar way without ago we got on the topic of choosing, and afterward your permission. If this is marriage and what we are having your union blessed happening at school, tell the looking for. He comes from in a clergyperson’s study, principal about it because it a religious family and I do might be a workable comcould be classified as a form not. His mother says if we promise. of bullying. It will then bedon’t get married in a come the school adminischurch with a religious cerDEAR ABBY: What is a trator’s job to make clear to emony, she won’t consider polite way to say: “My husyour classmates that their me her daughter-in-law and band is NOT a bum; he’s a behavior is not appropriate. we won’t be a married cou- hardworking, stay-at-home If it’s happening outside of ple. dad until he can find a job school, your parents should I want a civil ceremony, that offers not only benefits, be told so they can help you something outside and cabut also enough extra put an end to it. sual. ankfully, my money to afford child care, DEAR ABBY Leukemias come in many different forms DEAR DR. DONOHUE: My husband recently died at the age of 93 from acute leukemia. I had never heard of it before, nor have others to whom I mentioned it. He was doing fine at 93. Life was good. en he got an infection in his left arm, and that’s when we learned of the leukemia diagnosis. Will you explain this kind of leukemia? Did the leukemia start the infection? — L. ANSWER: It must be a great hardship to lose a partner of so many years. You have my sympathy. Leukemia is cancer of white blood cells. Five different kinds of white blood cells exist. at implies there are more than a few different kinds of leukemia. Lymphocytic leukemia is cancer of lymphocytes, white blood cells involved with the immune system. Lymphocytes protect us from infection. Your husband’s infection wasn’t caused by his leukemia, but his resistance to the infection was greatly impaired by it. Myelocytic leukemia is cancer of another sort of white blood cells, granulocytes. eir function is to gobble up germs. In addition to the kind of white blood cell involved, leukemias are either acute or chronic. “Acute” implies a rapid onset of the leukemia with a severe and short course. “Chronic,” on the other hand, indicates a slow onset with persistence of illness for a long time period. ere are exceptions to both rules. Leukemias, therefore, are designated with two words: the white blood cell involved and the time course of the illness. If you have a copy of your husband’s death certificate, I’m almost positive it will use two words for his cause of death — “acute” or “chronic,” along with the white blood cell type of his illness. P.S. If you work to develop your mind, you can accomplish what many short people have done — compensate by becoming a mental giant. Do that, and you’ll become a role model that people of every size will look up to. and it’s none of your business”? — I bring in the dough, he bakes DEAR BAKER’S WIFE: Don’t get angry. Tell the person, “My husband is a very hard worker. His JOB took a vacation.” Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order “How to Have a Lovely Wedding.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $7 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.) Bait boy TO YOUR GOOD HEALTH Dr. Paul G. Donohue, M.D. Syndicated Columnist Ridding cat allergens from the rest of the house (and your room) is a formidable task. Uncarpeted floors are best for a person with a pet allergy. Furthermore, try to reduce the number of upholstered furniture pieces you have. Take down curtains and drapes and install blinds. Buy a vacuum cleaner with powerful suction. Position air filters in all your rooms. If you can get a professional cleaner to rid the home of allergens, all the better. I still want you to see the allergist. I might be wrong about the cat. If this is an allergy, the kinds of allergy medicines are many. You’ll simply have to find the one that works best for you. DEAR DR. DONOHUE: A co-worker told me everyone over 50 should be taking a glucosamine-chondroitin supplement for joint health. What is your perspective on this? — R.M. ANSWER: Does you coworker mean that glucosamine-chondroitin prevents arthritis, specifically osteoarthritis? If so, I don’t agree. Glucosamine has a large fan base for the treatment of osteoarthritis. at’s the most prevalent kind of arthritis, the kind that comes from the wearing away of joint cartilage. A joint is the place where two bones meet. e ends of those bones are covered with cartilage to permit the joint to bend smoothly and comfortably. With age, joint cartilage fragments and thins. at exposes the bone ends to rub against each other, a painful situation. Osteoarthritis is the result. Glucosamine is derived from the shells of crabs, lobsters or shrimp. It is also DEAR DR. DONOHUE: I synthetically made. It’s said to restore integrity to joint have had a sinus allergy cartilage. cough for many years. I Chondroitin comes from have tried many medicines, bovine or shark cartilage. It, but it is most discouraging too, is said to rejuvenate that the cough persists. I joint cartilage. find that as I get older, my Neither substance, alone coughing is more frequent. or together, has proven to I have had many tests, inachieve the goals claimed cluding chest X-rays. I do have a cat that is an “inside” for them. I do know many people pet. I would not part with her even though I could be who are ardent fans of these allergic to cats. What medi- products. To them I say this: If you are convinced that cines would you prescribe they help your osteoarthrifor a person like me? — tis, continue to use them. I M.R. ANSWER: If you were my happen to be a disbeliever. And I definitely cannot recpatient, I’d refer you to an ommend them as preventaallergist. You’ve had the tives for osteoarthritis. cough for years, which pretty much rules out the Readers may write Dr. dangerous cough causes. However, it’s getting worse, Donohue or request an order form of available health newsletand it’s affecting your life. ters at P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, I think your cat is the FL 32853-6475. Readers may also cause. Even though the cat is an inside cat, do not allow order health newsletters from it in your bedroom. AP Photo/Kitsap Sun, Larry Steagall Pierceson Krieg, 9, a student of Brownsville Elementary School, Brownsille, Wash., pretends he is the bait in the mouth of a salmon Tuesday at the Kitsap Water Festival at the Kitsap County Fairgrounds. The exhibit, from Wild Olympic Salmon is “Fin the Migrating Salmon.” The annual festival, falls near Earth Day, which is Sunday, and helps teach children about the importance of water as a natural resource. Used car seat not a good choice DEAR READERS: Looking to buy a car seat for your precious child? inking of buying a used one to save money? Well, a secondhand car seat is not an option! ere are several reasons not to use a secondhand or hand-medown car seat: n You cannot tell if it was in an accident, and manufacturers recommend not using one if involved in a crash. n It might have been recalled. To check, call either the manufacturer or the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (888327-4236.) n It might be too old. Most car seats come with a label recommending how long to use the seat. Do not use a car seat if it is more than 10 years old. n A used car seat might not have an instruction manual telling you how to properly install it. HINTS FROM HELOISE While I am doing my shopping, I always check the coupons, even if it is a product I don’t need that particular trip. Oftentimes, the coupons don’t expire right away. If it is a product I know I use, I save the coupon and use it on my next trip. -- Bonita in New Jersey always email the photos to yourself. DEAR HELOISE: I quit using my large cotton and linen tablecloths because they were impossible to hand-iron and prohibitive Keep these in mind, and in cost to send to the launremember, the most expendry. My daughter gave me sive is not always the “best.” this hint, and now I enjoy Education and proper inusing them. Stretch a sheet stallation are key. DEAR HELOISE: I have over a bed. Wash the tablea smartphone that holds cloth in cold water — if it is DEAR HELOISE: We really heavy, put it in the stayed at a hotel in Florida, photos, music and apps. dryer for a few minutes. and we were so glad to have e other day, I was trying to download an app and Take out the wet tablecloth remembered our night couldn’t because my phone and stretch it out tight over light. e room was dark, said it was out of space. I the sheet on the bed. It is and the unfamiliar surrealized that I had a ton of helpful if you have someroundings made it hard to one to help. Leave all day or see when we got up during photos on my phone that overnight, and the tablethe night. Such a small, in- were taking up space. I downloaded my pictures to cloth will dry without a expensive item to save us my computer and then wrinkle. — Elizabeth in from an expensive trip to the emergency room due to deleted them off my phone Louisiana to free up space. — Amber, a fall. — Louise B. in Indivia email SEND A GREAT HINT TO: ana DEAR AMBER: Great Heloise, P.O. Box 795000, San Anhint! If your phone doesn’t tonio, TX 78279-5000. Fax: 1-210DEAR HELOISE: Grocome with a cord or you HELOISE. Email: cery stores often put their own coupons on products. have misplaced it, you can Syndicated Columnist

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