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Image 8 of The Advocate Messenger April 3, 2012

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A8 TUESDAY, APRIL 3, 2012 ADVICE The unknown walker HINTS FROM HELOISE Syndicated Columnist I place a tag on the outside of the bag with a list of items that cannot be stored in the bag, such as medication and cellphone charger. — Charles, via email DEAR CHARLES: Way to go! With the drastic weather many of us have had lately, being able to grab and go is crucial. Also think about updating your cellphone. What business contacts would you need? How about your insurance company, medical doctors, spouse's work, any schools that your children attend, etc.? These numbers may come in handy if you have to evacuate. THE ADVOCATE-MESSENGER WWW.AMNEWS.COM Cheating husband will need support to cope with divorce DEAR ABBY: I have DEAR ABBY been separated from my Jeanne husband, “Fred,” for several Phillips DEAR HELOISE: I like months because of his infito walk, and I always put Syndicated Columnist delity. He is pushing to my driver's license in my move back in together and pocket when walking in has been very insecure and case something should overly clingy. He constantly hurt himself would be givhappen to me. accuses me of not paying ing in to emotional blackYesterday, a lady walkenough attention to him, mail. Fred is clingy and ing in our neighborhood no matter what I do or how needy because he now realcollapsed and passed out, much time I spend with izes what his cheating may and no one knew who she him. have cost him. Of course it’s was. An ambulance came Fred and I have two chil- a turn-off. to help her. I hope she had dren, so this has been diffiHowever, before ending her driver's license in her cult for all of us. But I’m the marriage, it’s important pocket, since no one recfrustrated with his disrethat you understand your ognized her. spect for my space and seri- disgust with him is mixed I told this story to sevously considering divorce. I with your anger at his beeral friends who walk, and want to tell him, but I’m trayal. at’s why you could they don't carry identificaworried about his reaction both benefit — and comtion when they walk, but since he cries every time I municate more honestly said they will start doing mention anything that imand safely — if you schedthat right away. Thanks for plies that I might “give up ule some appointments DEAR HELOISE: Can your helpful columns! — on us.” He was married with a licensed marriage you please help me? My Connie in San Angelo, once before, and told me and family counselor. If, son was in school, and Texas someone shook a bottle of that he had to stay with his during that time, you deDEAR CONNIE: I do cide you still want a ditypewriter correction fluid brother for a while afterhope the woman was all ward to make sure he vorce, the place to tell him and got stains all over his right! Thank you for the re- brand-new shirt, and he is wouldn’t hurt himself. would be in the therapist’s minder. I'd like to offer a His family lives 400 miles office. You won’t be alone. very upset. Is there anysuggestion, though: Don't thing that can help remove away, and he wants to visit He will have emotional carry your driver's license. this type of stain? Thank them soon. Would it be support, and his family can Make up a “Contact ID” be told immediately afteryou so much! — Keisha, via wrong of me to call him emergency card. while he’s there and tell ward. email Be sure to include your him it’s over? I feel he’ll DEAR KEISHA: Oh no! name and the contact inDEAR ABBY: I am a 46Try rubbing a citrus-based, need support when he gets formation of a relative or the news, and I don’t want year-old married man and grease-cutting spray close friend to call. Also in- cleaner on the stains. This him to be alone. I do love have been with my wife for clude any medical condiand care about him, and 23 years. We were both type of cleaner contains tions and allergies you may petroleum distillates, so don’t want him to do anymarried before and have have. You can use a 3-by-5- work in a well-ventilated thing that will hurt himself two children from our prior inch card and even seal it or his children, but I can’t marriages. Our children are area. This hopefully will in plastic to make it stay married to someone now grown and live their emulsify, or break apart, durable. own lives. the spotting. Then launder who cheats on me. Any suggestions? — Torn in I have recently learned as usual. DEAR HELOISE:: My pieces that I’m terminally ill and, You also can take it to wife, Shirley, always reads your dry cleaner and say DEAR TORN: To stay as I come to the end of my me the hints that appear in what the stain is. It should married to someone bejourney here on Earth, I your column in The Wash- be treated as would an oil- cause you think he might need some advice. My son, ington Post. I have a terbased paint stain. Good rific idea that makes luck! shaving much easier, alP.S.: If the stains don't most nickproof and faster. come out, use the shirt as My wife recently has an “artist's smock”! gotten me to use body lotion for my dry skin. BuildDEAR READERS: Kate ing on her suggestion, I and Abby in San Antonio now apply the body lotion sent a picture of their pet, a to my face before I apply blue mystery snail named shaving cream — the result Darryl. is miraculous! Shaving has They say he's the bestnever bee looking snail to ever exist! n easier or more effecHe lives in the tank with tive. Hope you print this — his friends, a betta fish and I think a lot of men would a catfish. To see Darryl and benefit. Thanks for years of our other Pet Pals, visit wonderful advice and sug- www. Heloise.com and gestions. — Gene R. in click on “Pets.” 20 Brand New Washington, D.C. Serta 1st Quality DEAR GENE: This is an DEAR HELOISE: Most Mattress Sets For old but still good hint, and stores post their hours of works when shaving legs, operation on their doors. I & too. My column is for take a picture with my cellUNDER everyone. Thanks for the 1595 Hustonville Rd. 114 Cyril Circle phone of the hours at the Choose from Firm, Danville, KY Lebanon, KY great hint and the nice stores I shop at frequently Plush, Euro Top & (Next to Arby’s) (Next to Little Caesars) compliment! so I can check them at a Memory Foam moment's notice. — Jill in STOP BY AMERICA’S MATTRESS TODAY & SLEEP LIKE A BABY TONIGHT! DEAR HELOISE: Rather Tustin, Calif. than discarding that old DEAR JILL: A great way duffel bag or backpack, I to save time and frustrause it to prepare a “go bag,” tion! which is always packed and ready to go in an Send a money-saving or Enjoy 10% off emergency. I have a supply timesaving hint to Heloise, P.O. any purchase of food, a six-pack of water, Box 795000, San Antonio, TX on Tuesday or Wednesday batteries, underwear and of this week* 78279-5000, or you can fax it to *Limit one coupon per person/per purchase. socks. I pack one outfit of a 1-210-HELOISE or e-mail it to Expires 3/14/12 Expires 4/4/12 shirt, sweater and jeans. Heloise@Heloise.com. I can't 73 Fisher Ford Road • Lancaster, KY 40444 When discarding old answer your letter personally but (859) 754-4224 clothes, I replace some of will use the best hints received in the items in the bag. my column. 26, does not know he’s not my biological child. His mother was pregnant when she met me and we never told him. As I make my final preparations, I am conflicted as to whether I should. How do I address this? Or do I even address it all? If I do it before I pass away, I’m afraid he will be upset and angry and turn away from me. If I do it afterward, via video or letter, I won’t be there to answer the questions he’s bound to have. Where do I go from here, Abby? — Unsure in Missouri DEAR UNSURE: Please accept my sympathy for your poor prognosis. Your situation is regrettable, but please don’t shoulder all the blame. Your first wife shares some of it, too. e young man has the right to know that, while you love him and have raised him as your own, he isn’t your biological child. He should be told before your death, in person, and nothing should be left out. If possible, his mother should participate in the conversation. And if she knows who the father is, your son should have access to an accurate family medical history. DEAR ABBY: I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder five years ago. I take my medicine and have been doing fine. e only thing missing in my life is love. I finally met a man, and we have been slowly getting to know each other over the past three months. He talked about wanting to become a couple, and so I decided I needed to tell him about my illness. He said he wants to keep seeing me, but we need to talk more before we decide on anything long-term. All of a sudden, I feel depressed. It’s not fair that this illness “chose” me. Do you think I’m still capable of finding long-term love? Why do I feel more depressed now than I ever have before? — Aching in illinois DEAR ACHING: You are probably feeling more depressed than you ever have before because you have a lot of emotion riding on this relationship, which may be threatened because of the stigma and misunderstanding by many people on the subject of mental illness. I do think you are capable of finding a long-term partner, and I respect you for telling him the truth. What he said was not a rejection. You have known each other for a relatively short time. He wants to get to know you better, and you should allow him the time to do that. is is how all meaningful relationships develop. 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