ffmmgg spirit 0f
IWritten for Young's Spirit of the South.
THE SCHOOLMASTER ABROAD.
Pete Sanders thinks he is qualified for the responsible station of
Schoolmaster, and takes a school How it began and how it
ended A friend advises him to extend his usefulness to the
little village of Louisville, Illinois lie goes and sees the folks
A sniping adventure.
TO 13 AVE DAWSON.
Mebby you were surprised when I left the Bend
so suddenly, and it mout be that I'd better kinder explain matters
to you and the rest on 'em. You know the school I got up ? well
I couldn't make it go not for want of qualification, or anything
of that sort, for Squire Harris sez he thinks I'm well qualified
but because I couldn't manage the young 'uns. They're hard
cases, them young I'apaw Benders; and what made 'em wuss,
you see, ,they'd allcrs know'd me, and they lookt on me as an
equal If I'd a been a stranger I could a managed 'em like a
knife. For an illustration of how they treated mo : When I
went to the school house in the mornin you see I'd only kept
I put little Bill Brown to his A B Cs and told him he
had to lam em in double quick time. He went off and set down.
In about half an hour I called him up; and, would you believe it,
he didn't hnow a single one of 'em.
Sez I to him, "You infernal young rascal, you, if you come
up here agin 'thout a knowing every one of 'em, I'll lick you like
" sez be to me, kinder scornful, and a pokin bis finger
D'ye reckon I
play thunder, Pete Sanders
care for you, old l'ete Sanders?"
Kervim I foteh him on the side of his head, and out came a
sqall. Then his big .brother, Tom Brown, hawled off bis coat
and swore he'd lam me till I wouldn't know my granny. Then
all the rest of the boys they stood up and hurraw'd for Tom; and
eeein as how I stood no chance among them I jist loaped outen
the hole over the writin board and made tracks atoards old Sad's
The boys didn't follow me, so when I got about
of a mile from the school house I mounted a stump
and dismissed the school, and that's the last I ever hearn of it
Rather a bad beginnin that; but, as aunt Sally Scroggins sez, a
bad beginnin allers has a good endin.
That evenin I met Bill Hatch, the pump peddlar, you know, and
told him all about my bad luck. He sed he tvas mortal sorry
to hear on it, still he thought I had talents and larnin enough to
make a good schoolmaster ; and then he let in to advisen me to
go to 6ome strange place and try my hand. I told him I didn't
know nary place to go; and then he said Louisville, in Illinois,
would suit me to a hair, as they had no school, and that, if I'd
go there, he'd give me a letter of introduction to Doctor Green.
That pleased my fancy, c- next mornin 1 put all my money
in my pocket, took leave of dad and mam and Betty Seranton
Squire Scranton' s' Betty; and then I footed it to Washington, where
I mout take the kars for Louisville.
I tell you what, Dave, this ridin on the kars is some, and kinder
gets a feller what ain't exactly ust to it. I know 1 felt mortal
squimish, cause, you see, it was my first trip. But contrary to
my expectations, and right agin what mam said for she vowed
I'd be killed if I went on 'em we got clean to Flora, safe and
sound 'thout an accident.
I got off at Flora and walked acrost to Louisville seven miles
and here I am. 1 don't know precisely how to take the prospects for a school. I think sometimes they're tolerable good, and
then agin 1 think they ain't. I can't exacty understand these
Illinois folks. They call me "The Iloosier," cause I'm from Indiana, and seem to let on like they thiak I'm a little green, which
you know ain't so, Dave. I'm up to snuff, as the editor of the
"White River Valley Weekly Times" sez. It mout be that I
take 'em that way accause they're strange and have strange ways,
and that they don't mean nothin ; still I can't exactly like a little
affair what took place last night. Let me tell you about it, and
then see what you think.
They's a feller here named Bill F'enner, and him and mo,
we've got purty thick; that is, we war till last night. Well, last
night Bill came up to me, and sez he :
' Oh Iloosier "
Sez I, "What?"
Sez he, " Dili you ever go a snipin ?"
" I'll tell you," sez he. " We take a bag or two jest arter dark
and goes over in the Little Wabash Bottom here, whar the snipes
are mortal thick. Well, when we gets over there some on us sets
down and holds open the bags, and smokes a big cigar, made on
purpose, while the rest on us goes out and stirs up the snipes.
Well, as I was sayin, they're mortal thick, and we soon get 'em
stirred up in a dreadful flutter. They soon get kinder confused,
some way, and as soon as that takes place they see the fire on
the feller's cigar and makes for it until they runs kerflumix right
he's a boldin open. Why, we catch a bag full
in a little or no time."
" Possible " sez I, " why I never hearn tell o' the like afore.
It must be rich fun;" and I gin my hand a graceful swing, cause,
you see, I wanted to act out the schoolmaster.
" Fun " sez he, " well, now you're a talkin
They's nothin on
a feller can't
top of yearth what can hold it a candle.
help a laughin till he makes bis sides sore for a week."
." Well, now, that must be rich," sez I.
" Rich I reckon it tis," sez he; " and we're a goin out to catch
Jwutft mii Central
How would you like to go along with us and
a bag full
see the fun ?"
"Jam up," sez I, cause, you see, I was in for ennything, for I
wanted to make myself popular, which, I know'd wouldn't make
nothin agin my gettin a school.
The big cigar was made, and jest arter
All was arranged.
dusk we some six or eight in number took a bag and started.
We went away down the river to the bridgj, and when we got
over in the Bottom we went away up to the snipe range.
When we got to the right place the boys sed, seem in as how I
didn't know the ground as well as they did, mebby I had better
hold the bag and let them drive. Of course I had no objections;
so they fired the big cigar and I took the bag and set down, a
holdin it open and a smokin. The boys, they scattered off arter
the snipes, and were soon clean out of sight and hearin.
For about an hour I sot a puffin at the big cigar, and a holdin
open the bag, and yit nary snipe had come, nor could I hear a
stine of the boys. I began to think the matter over several ways,
and sez I to myself, "Pete, this seems mortal queer!
ain't a good night for sniping. But where's the b jys ? Oh, seein
as how it ain't a good night for snipes, I reckon they're had to go
a good ways to find enny." Jest then I thought I hearn some-thi- n
rustlin in the leaves, and I silenced down, cause I spected
a snipe was comin. I waited, but nothin could I see of it. I
smoked still harder same result Presently thinks sez I to myself, " Pete, mebby it's come and got in the bag, and you didn't
see it;" so I got up and shook the bag; but nary snipe.
I sot down and held the bag open another hour; and then not
hearin anything of either the boys or the snipes, I begun to feel
kinder oneary. The thought struck me, it mout be possible
they'd got lost, and I fixed my mouth to holler; then I thought
I'd better not, cause it mout get out a report that I was scart;
and that mout go agin me in gettin a school.
I toughed it out anoter hour, with the same success; and then
1 begun to get mortal oneasy and restless.
To this I added an
other half hour, and then my cigar was used up. It was a gittin
late in the night, and I know'd they must be somethin wrong. I
They were all out'n
hollered at a venture, but no one answered.
Here was a fix to be in. Way up in a strange
the dead of night, all alone, 'thout knowin exactly the way out.
All the rest of the boys lost or drowned, or somethin of the kind.
What was to be did ? I know'd it was no use a stayin there enny
longer, so arter hollerin a few times more as loud as I could,
and not hearin any response, I started back, as near as possible,
the way we had come.
As I blundered along through the brush I got up a chat with
sez I, " Won't there be a dreadful stir
myself, jist for
in Louisville when I get in with the news that all them boys are
I guess they'll be more excitement than ever
lost in the bottom
was at that place afore. It's a dreadful thing! I jist tell you,
Pete Sanders, it's orful! and it mout be that you'd get in the
same fix afore you get aut o' this. What if your mam and Betty
Seranton could see you here a pumbling about over logs aud
wouldn't they be in a dreadful figity fix? I can't
I cum into a slough of water jist
bear the idea
then, up to my arms. Of course my conversation was nipped in
the bud, and as the water was most mortal cold, you ort to a
hearn mo give vent to my fcelins. 1 know'd it was too late to
back out, so I jist waded through and then blundered on.
Away bout midnight I got to town wet and tired. I hurried
up to the tavern to spread the alarm about the boys what went
out with me. When I got there what do you think I seed ? Why
there sot all the infernal cusses, leaned back on their dignities, a
smokin cigars and a sniggerin about somethin. As soon as they
cotch a glimpse of me, all wet, with the bag over my shoulder,
the jist roared out in a regular ha haw.
Now, Dave Dawson, you know my temper; and so you can
draw a purty good idea how mad I was; cause, you see, the truth
flasht on me at once that they'd been playin a trick on me. I
couldn't hardly stand it Down went the bag, and off came my
coat, and then up began to go my sleeves, preparatory to lickin a
lot of 'em then I thought about my school, and know'd it
wouldn't do. I held in the best I could and walked off 'thout
sayin a word.
You shall hear from me agin soon, but whether I'll be here or
Give my love to all the folks in
not depends on circumstances.
the Bend ; but don't tell enny on 'em about this scrape especially
don't tell Betty Seranton.,
Pete Sanders, S. II.
I remain yours,
From Papatc Bend.
By referance to another column you will find
Thank you. Will be pleased to hear from you
S. B. of Cincinnati.
Written for Young's Spirit of the South.
The bard has sung, "The man's the gold;"
May. be who, passing, knows it?
"The rank is but the guena stamp"
To all the world that shows it.
The gold, though only in the mine
The yellow dust when minted
King Dollar lords it o'er the world:
The value goes imprinted!
What! you are poor? My loving friend,
You'll have to be translated!
You are not one of Adam's boys
Your world was ne'er created
Ah! you are
(heavens!) pardon me!
What fancy's my tormentor?
They kicked me, begging, from their door
Your dollar jingles: "enter."
J. J. P.
Drummond of Scotland publishes a card in the last
''Porter's Spirit" challenging any man in the United States to
play against him at Draughts for two hundred and fifty dollari a
side. Is there no Yankee to "pick him up?"
Official orders have been received at the Brooklyn Navy Yard
to get the United States steamer San Jacinto ready for sea as
soon as possible. Wrorkmen have been put upon her and every
exertion will be made to have her ready by the 1st of May next.
She is booked for the coast of Africa, and will relieve the United
of the African
The United States steam frigate Wabash was at Genoa on the
21st ult, and would remain there until April, except instructions
to the contrary came from the Navy Department
crew all well.
We have late news from the Mediterranean squadron. The
United States steam frigate Wabash, Commodore Lavellette was
at Genoa on the 21st ult, all well, and would remain there until
April, unless orders to the contrary came from the Navy Department The sloop Macedonian, Capt Levy, was at Alexandria
preparing for sea, and would probably sail in a few days. Both
ships' officers and crew were well
Gur latest dates from the Paraguay Expedition locate the vessels as follows: Montevidoe, flag ships Sabine, St Lawrence;
steamers Fulton, Walter Witch, Harriet Lane; sloop Falmouth;
brigs Perry, Brainbridge and Dolphin, storeship Supply, and another name not given. Thus leaves the following at sea, the first
three of which had reached Brazilian latitudes: Sloop Preble,
steamer Southern Star, Boston (storeship,) and steamers Atlanta,
Memphis, Calodonia, Westernport, M. W. Chapin and
The Boston papers contain news from the sloop of war Dale, of
Sho is safe, and all well. The other vesthe African Squadron.
sels of the squadron were stationed as at last advices.
Mr. Samuel McLaughlin, of Jersey City, has a
full brother to Lancet, whom, he says, he will match to trot against
that can be produced.
Says he " In Pleasures's ways I'll go it strong,
To theatres and parties oft and many,
I'll mingle with the gay and festive throng,
And with the jolly I'll invest my penny,
I'll shout hurra! the noisiest among,
And be as pleased, if possible, as any."
And thus he practised, but with all his trying
He found the Pleasure was unsatisfying.
At New York on Thursday afternoon General Wheat, of
notoriety, and Colonel Canton of Costa Rica, measured
arms outside of Delmonico's to the entertainment of between one
and two thousand lookers-on- .
The General broke his cane over
the Colonel's head, giving a severe cut, but nothing dangerous
IIorrillr Massacre op a Missionary Family. The Rev. Mr.
Klifman, a Methodist missionary who had been preaching to the
Indians of Oregon since 1838, was murdered with his family
not long since, under singular and appalling circumstances.
small-pohaving broken out among the savages, while the missionary's family were not attacked, the former thouglit that this
pestilence had been introduced by the whites with the intention
of exterminatirg the red race. Acting upon this horrible suspicion, their next step was revenge. A bold chief was selected
for the deed, who stole into the chamber of the sleeping family,
and buried his tomahawk into the brain of the missionary and
that of his wife, and then other Indians rushed in, and helpless
children, male and female employees were butchered, the house
razed to the ground, fences destroyed, and every vestige of a once
happy home destroyed.
The facts of the case have been laid before the Senate in a
communication from the War Department.
Theatrical. The Campbell Minstrels played here Tuesday
and Wednespay nights, to good houses. A Dutch ball the first
night and a free lecture the second made the numbers less than
than they would otherwise have been. Farnk Leslie Lehr, the
most original and ever interesting old darky in the world, and
Little Boby are interesting features of the Troupe; although the
whole band are considered the best that ever before visited our
Madison, Ind., March 11, 1S09. -
G. W. BOWLKlt, VETEKIMAHt SITRGEOX, HAS
returned from Europe, and is prepared to treat all sick horsos
and'cattle placed under his charge, on the most scientific principles.
Parties at a distance, having valuable stock, can obtain his services
by sending a telegraphic dispatch, or can consult him by letter, enclosing a fee of two dollars.
Address, Db. G. BOWLER, Veteriuany Sougeon, No. 15, Sixth St.,
between Main and Walnut, Cincinnati, Ohio.